http://banksysblog.co.uk Tue, 27 May 2008 13:50:48 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en HOW often I find rather serious moments painfully funny, especially at times when outright laughter would be inappropriate. Journalists, in particular, store up memorable conversations for ribald repetition. Once, interviewing a grieving son, I asked what his father’s last words were. “Dad had no last words,” sniffed the sorrowing offspring. “My mother ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/05/27/when-dying-is-a-laughing-matter/ WHEN I dumped this column in the editor’s laptop yesterday the deadline was long gone, my copy horribly late. I had more important things to do first, I told him. Like writing a letter to the Press Complaints Commission asking why I should I have my privacy invaded by a publicity-hungry, ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/05/27/cant-we-stop-celebs-invading-our-privacy/ WHEREVER I travelled in life I seemed always to arrive ten years too late. “You think this is fun?” sniggered old hands at The Journal when this spotty-chinned, wide-eyed nineteen-year-old arrived in Newcastle. “You should have been here ten years ago; this was a great town then!” They said the same when ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/05/27/you-should-have-been-here-ten-years-ago/ I HOPE you voted yesterday. I did: I voted at the village hall we’re trying to save, across the road from the part-time post office we’re about to lose and only a thresher’s thirsty walk away from the village pub which this week so mysteriously and depressingly closed its doors. What’s ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/05/27/why-i-hope-you-voted-yesterday/ DON’T talk to me about kiss-and-tell! And don’t even think of mentioning the sneaks who go behind your back and ‘tell all’ to the newspapers for money. This biter has been bit . . . I have been turned over by a past master! For sixteen years I nursed a secret. Not ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/04/26/read-all-about-it-banksy-robbed-of-a-big-one/ LONDON is another world. To start with, the capital is currently a whole scarf and overcoat warmer than Godzone-on-Tweed.    More than climate, too: fellow hacks at the British Press Awards 'do' were wrapped only in their own parochial metro-politics, convinced that all of Britain was as fascinated as they are ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/04/16/schmooze-or-booze-that-is-the-question/ WORD travels fast when you accidentally demolish the greenhouse. Not surprising, really: the noise of shattering panes as I plunged backwards through the glass was enough to wake the dead. I’d been doing really well until it happened. “Close the greenhouse vent, water the lettuce, sweet peas, beans and broccoli seedlings ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/04/16/the-day-i-demolished-the-greenhouse/ From The Journal, Newcastle Upon Tyne Published March28 2008 BLOGS are like landmines: once launched into cyberspace they can crashland and blow your legs off long after you have forgotten their existence. Unlike a sturdy, old-fashioned newspaper column, which silently yellows to dust in the attic or wraps potato peelings and disintegrates at ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2008/03/27/are-blogs-any-better-than-notes-in-bottles/ TWO words may have changed Clive Goodman’s life for ever: “Guilty, m’lud.” The media business, tabloid newspapermen in particular, will collectively have drawn a sharp intake of breath upon hearing that the News of the World’s royal editor had admitted conspiring to intercept voicemails meant for members of the royal household. Suspended ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2006/12/13/who-says-his-editor-didnt-know-from-press-gazette/ AS sequels go last week’s was a stunner: The Madness of King Kelvin (Part Two), a remarkable repeat of the gigantic clanger that lost the Sun 50,000 readers on Merseyside and is estimated to have cost Rupert Murdoch £100million over succeeding years. WHAT? He did it again? You bet he did. Not ... http://banksysblog.co.uk/2006/12/13/madness-of-king-kelvin-from-press-gazette/